After many days of crawling up perilously high stalks of Hollyhocks to chomp on their bitter leaves, while beautiful butterflies danced in the air above her head or daintily sipped flower nectar as she clung on tightly, afraid to fall, the caterpillar finally called out “How does one become a butterfly?”   “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar” was the reply. “You must be willing to go into the darkest depths & liquefy your very essence before the beauty of your butterfly being emerges into the light.”

I am currently working on an assemblage, “How Does One Become a Butterfly?” The head is attached to a series of metal boxes. I plan to keep it so that one will still be able to open the boxes to reveal the secrets inside. What will be the secrets inside?

I wanted the piece to have segments like a caterpillar and decided to make them out of sheet metal with embossed flowers & vines & birds & butterflies on the segments. First I made patterns out of paper to see how it would fit and how to attach them so the boxes would still come apart.

I think of caterpillars as being green so green she is:

Here she is from the front- right now she reminds me of the Virgin de Guadalupe- with her plump caterpillar legs looking like the Virgin’s rays of light:

and from the back:

next I will work on the butterfly emerging from her crown chakra.

wondering what a fabulist is? please see my previous blog.

Does being not attached to outcome nurture my art & soul? One thing I know for sure (nod to Oprah here), is that being with wonderful friends nurtures my soul AND I have a lot of fun observing how attachment versus non plays out every year at the “Non Attachment/Ornament Exchange Party” that I give. Everyone brings a wrapped ornament (and a bottle of champagne & food to share). We count the number of party people in their “la ti da” hats and they draw a number from the magic box. Number 1 goes first, number 2 can pick a new wrapped ornament or take number 1’s, number one then chooses another ornament, #3 takes either #1 or #2’s or chooses a new ornament etc.- there are no limits. Some of my friends spend hours- perhaps days- making an original awesome art piece, other party participants search the globe to bring us gorgeous or interesting ornaments that illicit ooooohs and aaaaaahs… and then there are always a couple of others – hmm… how to put this kindly?- that aren’t quite in the same league- maybe they say “Starbucks” on them or are a broken toy with a jingle bell around it’s poor neck…well, you get the picture. So…you work for days on an ornament that everyone loves and “steals” back forth from each other and when it is your turn you bravely choose a new wrapped ornament (is it better to take one that has already been unwrapped &  that you can see what it is?-attached to the known- or do you imagine that something even better is still in one of those wrapped packages? )- the tension mounts as you peel away the paper and viola- the broken toy…now you know you are out of the game- unless, as often happens, a friend takes pity on you (more attached to your feelings than their ornament) & “steals” your ornament- you are back in the game! Who do you think leaves the party the happiest? – the ones who walk away with the ornament they really wanted & had to collaborate & use strategy with others to end up with after much “stealing” back & forth? or the ones who liked what they got & didn’t have to “fight”over it? or the ones who had the pleasure of bringing an ornament that was well received? or the ones who didn’t really care or put much effort into it?

How does this apply to art work? Years ago I did landscape painting. I bumped up my colors but I really wanted my pieces to look like the landscape I was painting and was really disappointed if I didn’t achieve that. Now I am painting the inner landscape and I do think of visuals that will get across my idea. For example, my current piece is called “Nurturing the Soul”, and I put a lot of thought into what does a soul look like? how would one show the nurturing of it? for me nurturing the soul would be like a mother tenderlyolding her little baby, the soul is like a bulb that blooms into a flower garden and color wise I picture golds with greens for growth and also flower colors. (I’m curious, how do you visualize the nurturing of the soul?) So… I do have a concept of colors & images I want to use, I look for the “right” postcard BUT here is where the magic comes in: I rely on “happy accidents” and inner voices to offer guidance in the direction the painting wants to go and many times it looks nothing like the way I originally visualized it would look. Non attachment to the outcome allows me to explore, play, problem solve, create and that nurtures MY soul and my art!

Here I’ve painted a large nurturing mother figure holding a “bulb” that is a stamp of a mother tenderly holding her child. The “bulb” is blossoming into the postcard- see my previous blog for the saying that is written on the card. The blue is tape that protects the background color of lavender where the postcard will go. I am not sure what is next- I’d like to see flowers, texture…we’ll see.

I was thrilled- positively thrilled- to set up the 1950’s vintage, aluminum, 93 pom -pom -on -the -branch -ends Christmas Tree with revolving 4 color wheel that I got on E-Bay a few nights ago. It is gorgeous- it makes me giggle- it even came in the original box. And the person who sold it to me, Beth, is awesome- check out her site.

Anyway, with a tree like that I feel like it needed a special ornament. As you know, I was influenced by the Bird Women carvings that I saw in Bali & Java from previous blogs. So…I chopped off another doll’s head (actually from my Burning Man Bike) & inserted it on a glittery, real feathered styrofoam bird body. A little more paint, glitter & sequins & viola:

She needed a friend so I created a smaller one:

I turned her Barbie pony tail into a head tuft- fun!:

This one looks a little more serious, intent on being present!

Sunday I will be hosting my 24th annual Ornament Exchange Party- all of my women friends & I wear vintage dresses and hats and gloves, drink champagne and play a raucous numbers game that involves trading i.e. “stealing” coveted ornaments. I call it the “Non Attachment Game”! My little bird woman wants to join in the fun so I think she will be my ornament this year! The thing with being passionately in love with making & altering things is that it spills over into all of life doesn’t it?

Just as the natural world moves in cycles of birth, death & rebirth so does creativity. For the past month it has been sort of a dark time for me- I had no creative fires that were lighting up my world and when I am in that dark place I forget that it will not last forever. In addition, the days are short, the wind is blowing, the snow is piling up and I have close friends and family members that are experiencing some tough times. The inner world seems to be following the cycles of the natural world. It is a time of stillness, reflection,lying fallow waiting for the light to return & the green shoots to sprout. What can I do? I can nurture with loving words, chicken soup, a warm hug and kindness to others and myself…nurture…ahhh yes…what REALLY needs nurturing? The soul…

A little flame just licked up from the embers- an idea- I will start a painting about nurturing the soul. Hmmm… time to look through my postcard collection. Some possibilities:

Yes, I think this is the right one:

It says:

“In the desert a fountain is springing.

In the wild waste there is still a tree

And a flower in the old garden blooming

That speaks to my spirit of thee.”

What visually evokes the nurturing of the soul? a mother tenderly holding her child? Hmm I better get to painting!!!