I don’t know if it is a Libra thing or a human “thing” but I always feel like I am juggling to find balance in my life. Winters in Estes are almost too quiet socially but are filled on my days off from work with time in my studio. Summers it is one social activity after another- sometimes there are 2-3 events I want to do on the same day and then there is the gardening that I love to do and the weeding that I don’t but is a necessary evil of gardening, the company that visits in the summer when the weather is glorious and my day job intensifies with 26 employees versus the 4 I have in the winter and then I try to fit in time for exercise, reading, solitude and a social life- plus occasionally cleaning house, grocery shopping, paying bills and ART.

Last weekend we went to the rodeo on Friday night- with it’s lump- in- the- throat patriotism:

cowgirl bling:

rodeo princesses

bucking broncos

goofy, politically incorrect rodeo clown humor

trophies bigger than the young kid “Mutton Busters”

mama horses and their babies- raised for their buckin” skills

and the romance of cowboys and the west…When I first moved to Estes in my twenties and fell in love with an adventurous western man I made this stained glass window- dripping with the romance of the west- She is pulling back the white lacy cabin curtain as he rides up on his white stallion as the sun sets behind them. One of the things about experiencing life and being an artist is that the art work often reflects those experiences. My art is not nearly so romantic any more…. seeing shapes meaning.:)

then on Sunday off to the opera, “Madama Butterfly” by Puccini in Central City- what a tear jerker it is!!!

Joe & I got a kick out of the wide range in cultural experiences the opera and the rodeo represent and how much we enjoyed both!! So my social life is in balance but I am missing that studio time. How do you find balance- or do you struggle like I do?

The night before departing for Taos & 8 days of a process painting workshop with Michele Cassou at the Mabel Dodge Luhan house, my friend Suzy Foy, who has taken many of these workshops, commented: “This workshop will change your life!” The impact of Michele’s workshops speaks for itself upon meeting the other participants- some of whom have done up to 20 plus workshops, some of whom make it an annual practice, most had flown in from all parts of the country and one from Spain and quite a few from Canada. Only a few of us were close enough to drive. Being a “newbie”, I was intrigued by the many returnees greeting each other warmly and felt a little like I did as the new kid in school with the many moves I experienced growing up. Curious, excited, nervous, a little scared…The workshop started with dinner- the workshop included 3 meals a day of the freshest, most delicious food imaginable! YUM!! and then a meeting with Michelle afterward and her co-teachers, Debi & Kathy. The premise of the workshop sounded really simple- it was not product, technique or subject matter oriented, we were to try to not use our intellect or imagination to create, but instead to paint like a young child- from the heart or soul; it was a safe environment- no judging of our own or other paintings-we were to allow images to flow onto the paper. After the meeting I was surprised to hear Michele say “We will go to the studio and start painting!” What!!?? we just got here, I don’t know what I am doing, it’s 8:30 at night. OMG!! Down to the studio we went:

The tempera paint colors were laid out for us to use. (this is the only art workshop I have ever taken where the only thing we were asked to bring was an apron) I went to the colors- hmm what to paint? that is intellectualizing- okay, pick the color that speaks to me and just start. Easy right? wrong!! After 3 days of sort of understanding Michelle’s philosophy, as presented in the morning gatherings and in the studio trying to answer the non leading questions asked by Michele, Kathy & Debi, that help one unblock or open up to the creative spirit I had a break through. I felt pure joy & passion and emotional release. It was a defining moment for me. My experience of process painting is that it was sort of like writing in a personal journal combined with meditation and feeling in the flow all at the same time. I plan to make it a regular practice so that I can explore all those nooks & crannies of my inner landscape. Michele made a comment at one of our gatherings …”that an explorer does not just put her tent down in one place and then stay there.” I like that!

Here’s a photo of the famous New Mexico orange light looking from the studio back up toward the Mabel Dodge Luhan house.

So, now it is back to reality- its been snowing for 5 days in a row, at work we had over 300 girl scouts arrive for the weekend to craft – unexpected & only 4 of us working, 26 new employees of mine are arriving on Wed. and no one at home to cook gourmet meals. LOL

On the road again: Leaving snow behind in Estes Park, Janice & I took off for what we hoped would be spring time in  Taos, to participate in an 8 day process painting workshop with Michelle Cassou.

“Michele Cassou has designed a revolutionary way of unblocking the creative potential: The Point Zero Method. This unique self-questioning method leads us into the wild, untamed place within us where there are no judgments or rules. This is the place where we can feel fully alive and creative, a place where we can express and explore the mystery of our lives.”

The magnetic pull of a few antique stores along the way garnered some assemblage materials:

The workshop was held at the delightful Mabel Dodge Luhan House:

Entering through the front gate, we were charmed by the cooing of doves in their houses just behind the gate.

To make a long & titillating story short, Mabel was a wealthy patroness of the arts who moved to Taos & started a literary colony. She left her 3rd husband for Tony Luhan, a Native American. After she died in 1962 Dennis Hopper lived there & wrote “Easy Rider”. You can only imagine the wild stories this house has to tell. Looking up from the courtyard you can see Mabel & Tony’s bedroom on the tippy top with views out to the mountains and across the sage brush toward the Penitente Church where I took a quiet sage scented walk one day during our lunch break

.To get to the church, I walked through a little neighborhood with cool house that had interesting details like this one with the adobe block roof (and wonder of wonders blooming bushes and tulips!! Yea spring!!!) Los Penitentes are perhaps best known for their songs of worship, called alabados, and for their ascetic practices, which included self-flagellation in private ceremonies during Lent and processions during Holy Week which end with the reenactment of Christ’s Crucifixion on Good Friday. I flashed on the “DaVinci Code” while walking there.

From the church, I walked down a long dirt road to the second cross, the smell of sage so pungent, little pink wild flowers in bloom! At the base of the cross was a simple wood burned offering of the Virgen de Guadalupe. It was good to see her there!

There is a little graveyard near the church that I wandered through

Then back down the road to Mabel Dodge and plumbing the depths of my being in Michele’s workshop- more about that next time.

My energy is back & I am all over the map- I have 4 color swatches painted 1 foot by 1 foot on my family room wall- it’s spring & time for a color change. I look at all the books, paintings etc. that have to be moved and wonder hmmm..maybe I’ll just live with big color swatches on the wall- its not the painting part- it is the prep- moving stuff, taping off all of the wood etc. that is sooo time consuming!! But by putting the color on the wall I have kind of forced myself into committing to a paint job! I work best under pressure- even if it is only from myself!

I have 3 projects going in the studio- one an assemblage about HOME- home as that place where one is loved, safe, warm- sheltered from the storm; the other a painting about dispelling fear and then a piece about memories which has taken me back on a trip through time. I don’t usually spend much time thinking about the past- in fact I have a little sign above my desk at home that says “Don’t Look Back”. Past is past, no regrets etc. I’ve always felt that looking back pretty much brings up sadness- of kids grown up, grandparents dead, places and friends left behind…but my art piece has to do with really wonderful memories of an annual gathering that we used to do with family and friends & it has been fun to relive them- though a little sad too.

When I was in Hawaii I bought a pendant of a Tree of Life- it made me think that it would be cool to make some pendants from my art images and photos I’ve taken of my folk art collection- I just finished making a bunch that I am selling for $15.00. I have engraved words on the back like dream, love, hope, wisdom, beauty, grace etc.:

and medals too- I love all the ribbons & objects that hang off of military uniforms or those old track medals on ribbons that you can find in flea markets- I thought it would be fun to fool around with making medals for women. I have written affirmations on the back like:”All is Well” etc. :

This is one of my favorites- the woman is from a photo I took of a colonial painting- she looks strong and has a knowing little smile on her face. There is a metal crown piece hanging down that represents inner strength. On the back it says “Life takes care of me in miraculous ways.”

So… though I am a bit over whelmed with all the “To Do”s” I am also really happy that I am back “in” life rather then hanging out on the fringes- thank god for thyroid meds- life does take care of me in miraculous ways!!

The last couple months I have felt really YUCKY- thoughts of cancer tormented me- I felt exhausted, nauseated, achy, foggy and kept gaining weight especially in my tummy- was it ovarian cancer!? …even though I’ve had my ovaries removed- …crazy! I kept thinking it would just go away … I finally saw my doctor a week ago- I called for the blood test results and was told I should make an appointment as soon as possible- cancer?  thankfully no… it is hypothyroidism and easily treatable. I don’t know if it is psychological or not but 2 days on medication & I already feel much better- so, I am back to blogging, art, exercise etc. Hurray!!! I am soooooooooooo grateful for my health!!!

:I have been taking images from my art work

and from my vintage postcard collection:

and my folk art collection:

and a variety of random photos that I have taken:

& making them into 1″ by 1″ images to use in some jewelry that I am starting to make. On the back,I am going to write affirmations with my little engraver – such as: “Joy is Mine”, “I Trust”; “All is Well” etc.

I am making necklace medallions

and badges/medals- here is a “Medal of Courage”:

I am trying to think what to call them- “Affirmative Jewelry” seems too plain. they are sort of vintage, retro, hip, affirmation medallions- any thoughts?

p.s. A secret art project is in the works- that I am not supposed to blog about or show photos of, so even though it is really hard to keep a secret I will.

About a month ago I was out walking & thinking about 3 close friends & the pain they were all in, in different ways… one with an illness and the the other two with tough stuff in relationships. As i walked, I thought about the few times in my life when I felt I was in the darkest depths of my soul-  which then led me to reflect on how to create a painting inspired by these thoughts & what would it be about? I decided the best thing during these sorts of time is to nurture the soul- so, I created this painting: “Nurture Your Soul, My Dear”.

It has a lot of depth to it- the words “nurture your soul, my dear”  are collaged on the background & then covered with a thick clear gel medium, that was then painted on in areas so that the words do peek through, then there is a layer of painted crackle medium with other images on it and our guardian angels flying around her head.

She is tenderly holding the plant ( represents the soul- meaning shapes seeing) which blossoms in the vintage postcard at heart level.

On the postcard there is the poem:
“In the desert a fountain is springing,
In the wild waste there is still a tree,
And a flower in the old garden blooming
That speaks to my spirit of thee.”

I take the thee to be hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, God.

Joe & I

walked around frozen Estes Park Lake under the full moon, the Blue Moon- quiet, beautiful, romantic. Got the year off to a good start.

I am having fun playing with new – to me- art materials- I laid in a heavy matte medium gel on the gold background of my “Nurture Your Soul, My Dear” painting & textured it with big rubber stamps. Painted some more gold on top then laid in some greens-liked the texture- did not like the color- but now it was deep in the recesses of the texture.

Got out the belt sander & sanded it down- still too gold & green

so laid in some crackle paste last night- you can still see some of the layering underneath- like it! I think I will stain the crackle paste a faded aqua. I am definitely riding the waves of “oh, I really like this painting” and as the wave curls over & crashes down”Oh I really, really don’t like this painting”; the wave starts to rise:” Oh, this painting has possibilities- I think I’ll just PLAY!”

Mostly finished with the Transformation Assemblage:caterpillar into butterfly- don’t know what I will title it- any ideas?  I want to put special totems in the metal boxes-maybe having to do with chakras…

I wish every one a VERY HAPPY, HEALTHY & FUN New Year!!!!!!!

I

Does being not attached to outcome nurture my art & soul? One thing I know for sure (nod to Oprah here), is that being with wonderful friends nurtures my soul AND I have a lot of fun observing how attachment versus non plays out every year at the “Non Attachment/Ornament Exchange Party” that I give. Everyone brings a wrapped ornament (and a bottle of champagne & food to share). We count the number of party people in their “la ti da” hats and they draw a number from the magic box. Number 1 goes first, number 2 can pick a new wrapped ornament or take number 1’s, number one then chooses another ornament, #3 takes either #1 or #2’s or chooses a new ornament etc.- there are no limits. Some of my friends spend hours- perhaps days- making an original awesome art piece, other party participants search the globe to bring us gorgeous or interesting ornaments that illicit ooooohs and aaaaaahs… and then there are always a couple of others – hmm… how to put this kindly?- that aren’t quite in the same league- maybe they say “Starbucks” on them or are a broken toy with a jingle bell around it’s poor neck…well, you get the picture. So…you work for days on an ornament that everyone loves and “steals” back forth from each other and when it is your turn you bravely choose a new wrapped ornament (is it better to take one that has already been unwrapped &  that you can see what it is?-attached to the known- or do you imagine that something even better is still in one of those wrapped packages? )- the tension mounts as you peel away the paper and viola- the broken toy…now you know you are out of the game- unless, as often happens, a friend takes pity on you (more attached to your feelings than their ornament) & “steals” your ornament- you are back in the game! Who do you think leaves the party the happiest? – the ones who walk away with the ornament they really wanted & had to collaborate & use strategy with others to end up with after much “stealing” back & forth? or the ones who liked what they got & didn’t have to “fight”over it? or the ones who had the pleasure of bringing an ornament that was well received? or the ones who didn’t really care or put much effort into it?

How does this apply to art work? Years ago I did landscape painting. I bumped up my colors but I really wanted my pieces to look like the landscape I was painting and was really disappointed if I didn’t achieve that. Now I am painting the inner landscape and I do think of visuals that will get across my idea. For example, my current piece is called “Nurturing the Soul”, and I put a lot of thought into what does a soul look like? how would one show the nurturing of it? for me nurturing the soul would be like a mother tenderlyolding her little baby, the soul is like a bulb that blooms into a flower garden and color wise I picture golds with greens for growth and also flower colors. (I’m curious, how do you visualize the nurturing of the soul?) So… I do have a concept of colors & images I want to use, I look for the “right” postcard BUT here is where the magic comes in: I rely on “happy accidents” and inner voices to offer guidance in the direction the painting wants to go and many times it looks nothing like the way I originally visualized it would look. Non attachment to the outcome allows me to explore, play, problem solve, create and that nurtures MY soul and my art!

Here I’ve painted a large nurturing mother figure holding a “bulb” that is a stamp of a mother tenderly holding her child. The “bulb” is blossoming into the postcard- see my previous blog for the saying that is written on the card. The blue is tape that protects the background color of lavender where the postcard will go. I am not sure what is next- I’d like to see flowers, texture…we’ll see.

I was thrilled- positively thrilled- to set up the 1950’s vintage, aluminum, 93 pom -pom -on -the -branch -ends Christmas Tree with revolving 4 color wheel that I got on E-Bay a few nights ago. It is gorgeous- it makes me giggle- it even came in the original box. And the person who sold it to me, Beth, is awesome- check out her site.

Anyway, with a tree like that I feel like it needed a special ornament. As you know, I was influenced by the Bird Women carvings that I saw in Bali & Java from previous blogs. So…I chopped off another doll’s head (actually from my Burning Man Bike) & inserted it on a glittery, real feathered styrofoam bird body. A little more paint, glitter & sequins & viola:

She needed a friend so I created a smaller one:

I turned her Barbie pony tail into a head tuft- fun!:

This one looks a little more serious, intent on being present!

Sunday I will be hosting my 24th annual Ornament Exchange Party- all of my women friends & I wear vintage dresses and hats and gloves, drink champagne and play a raucous numbers game that involves trading i.e. “stealing” coveted ornaments. I call it the “Non Attachment Game”! My little bird woman wants to join in the fun so I think she will be my ornament this year! The thing with being passionately in love with making & altering things is that it spills over into all of life doesn’t it?

Just as the natural world moves in cycles of birth, death & rebirth so does creativity. For the past month it has been sort of a dark time for me- I had no creative fires that were lighting up my world and when I am in that dark place I forget that it will not last forever. In addition, the days are short, the wind is blowing, the snow is piling up and I have close friends and family members that are experiencing some tough times. The inner world seems to be following the cycles of the natural world. It is a time of stillness, reflection,lying fallow waiting for the light to return & the green shoots to sprout. What can I do? I can nurture with loving words, chicken soup, a warm hug and kindness to others and myself…nurture…ahhh yes…what REALLY needs nurturing? The soul…

A little flame just licked up from the embers- an idea- I will start a painting about nurturing the soul. Hmmm… time to look through my postcard collection. Some possibilities:

Yes, I think this is the right one:

It says:

“In the desert a fountain is springing.

In the wild waste there is still a tree

And a flower in the old garden blooming

That speaks to my spirit of thee.”

What visually evokes the nurturing of the soul? a mother tenderly holding her child? Hmm I better get to painting!!!